Me, Myself, and I

Qualification

2010-04-30T12:24:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been thinking a lot about people in dire circumstances. You know, the people who are holding the signs on the side of the road that say "Will work for food", or the people who are living in poverty and feel like there's no way out. This has come to the forefront of my mind mostly because of my job. I work for Latin America ChildCare. It's a sponsorship program that provides schooling, clothing, meals, and the gospel of Jesus Christ to children in Latin American countries, who otherwise would have no hope. My coworkers and I were talking the other day, and they were sharing stories with me of the different schools and children that are touched by the generous sponsors that support these children. One school in particular broke my heart. It's a school in Bolivia that is right outside of a prison. In Bolivia, if a parent goes to prison and no other family member will step up and take care of them, the family, mainly children, go to prison with the convicted family member. These prisons are not like what we see in the US. They are dirty and ridden with crime and violence. There are stories of parents "selling" their children to guards for food in exchange for sexual favors. These children leave the prison everyday to go attend "The Freedom School". Here they learn reading, writing, and arithmetic. They learn about the love of Christ, and how there is hope in Him.

Not only were these stories of Bolivian children on my mind, but there was something else burdening my spirit. While I was at my desk one day, a young girl came to the front doors asking for help in a rental deposit. Her and her 3 month old daughter and boyfriend were living in the hotel across the street. She began to tell me that they had moved from Baltimore and her boyfriend's aunt had kicked them out. He had gotten a job, but all their money was going to pay for the hotel. I told her that we didn't have any type of resources for her, but I gave her number after number to call in order to receive help. Two weeks later, I see this girl walking down the street and into the hotel again. My spirit was immediately grieved for this girl. I don't know her story, and if what she told me was true, but I knew that she needed help. I called around Springfield to see if there was any help for her, and found a few places that could help. I'm praying that God will bring her into my path again so that I can give her the information that I found.

I say all of this because sometimes as Christians, we think we have to qualify people before we will give them help. Take for example the Bolivian children. These are innocent children who have been born into poverty by no fault of their own. They are living in these situations because of something someone else has done. Many of us would write a check right now knowing their situation. However, how many of us would help the girl that came to my office? We would say things like "Well, she needs to get a job", or "It's her own life choices that have brought her to where she is", or even still "I don't know what she's going to do with that money. She might go and buy drugs with it". So many of us are quick to judge and place qualifications on people before we will help them.

Jesus didn't qualify anyone!!! He reached out to the hurting, broken-hearted, lonely, poor, and sinful people of His day without ever condemning or judging. He didn't come to this earth to do that. He came to seek and save the lost. Where would many of us be without the grace and loving kindness of the Father? Psalm 113: 7-8 says this, "He picks up the poor from out of the dirt, rescues the wretched who've been thrown our with the trash, seats them among the honored guests, a place of honor among the brightest and best. " (The Message) Just like a hospital is for the sick and not those who are well, so is Christ for the broken-hearted and those in need.

I write this blog today to encourage you to look at your life and see if you are qualifying people. Next time you see that person standing on the side of the road, my prayer is that you don't qualify them, but you instead see their need and do what you can to reach out.

Spring Is In The Air!!

2010-03-09T07:35:00.000-08:00

For the past few days, we've been having amazing weather here in Springfield. I don't know what it is about this spring, but I'm ready for warmer weather now than I think I've ever been in my life. Maybe it could be the extremely cold weather we had this winter. Wind chills in the negatives don't really appeal to most people. Maybe it could be the fact that we had snow at least four times this winter, and the snow stayed around for weeks because it wasn't warm enough to melt. Maybe it's the fact that I'm getting cabin fever, and I'm ready to be outside. Whatever the reason for this spring anticipation, here are some of the reasons I'm ready for blue skies and warmer weather:

-Opening the windows and letting the breeze blow in, leading to fresh air

-Not having to wear a heavy and binding winter coat

-Easter, which lends itself to new Easter outfits

-Walking through fresh green grass barefoot

-Flowers starting to bloom

-Sitting outside at a restaurant

-Wearing sundresses and sandals

-Picnics at the park

-Going to the park

-Sunshine that gives me vitamin D

-Getting some sun on my white skin

-Riding bikes

-"Glee" comes back in April :)

-Grilling outside

-Drinking my morning coffee on the back porch

-Reading my books on the back porch

-Daylight Savings Time which means more sunshine and longer days

What are some of the things that you are looking forward to this spring?

The Break

2010-02-06T09:59:00.000-08:00

I'm hesitant to even start blogging about what has happened to me over the last couple of days because I don't want to put the cart before the horse, but I've been advised that I will want to look back and see where I came from and see my beginnings, so here it goes...

Every little girl has a dream. Some dream of being a mother and a wife. Some dream of being ballerina or a princess. I've always dreamed of being on stage. While others are terrified at being up in front of people, that is where I am most comfortable. I'm in my element and feel quite at home when I'm on the stage singing. I've always wanted to be in the music industry, but as a girl who grew up with little resources to do so, I've never known how to get started. You hear of people picking up their life and moving to Los Angeles hoping to get their big break. You hear of parents selling all they have to help their child become the next big star. I didn't have either. I'm a home grown singer who loves to do just that, sing. I grew up on stage at church and singing in various groups in high school and college, yet I've always wanted something more. However, I never knew how to get started, until this weekend happened, but let me start at the beginning.

In November of 2009, Ryan and I went on a cruise with his department at work. The department had hired an outside guy to come in and be the MC/Comedian for our events on the cruise. During the course of the week, I got to know this guy and we had several talks about music and what he's done in the industry. I was fascinated because I've never been around someone who knew the in's and out's of the music industry. After hearing me sing several nights at the karaoke bar, he knew that I could sing, and asked me what I was doing with my music. I told him nothing really because I've never known how to get started. He gave me some tips, which I took, and at the end of the cruise, we became Facebook friends and went our separate ways.

This weekend, while Ryan and I were in Branson at a conference, this gentleman was there again, and we reconnected over a soy chai latte and a perrier. :) He again asked me what I was doing with my music, and again, I told him nothing because I wasn't sure how to get started. It's all so overwhelming when you don't have connections and know people. I had so many questions like, "What songs do I put on my demo reel?", "Who do I send the reel to?", "Am I past my prime?", etc. Honestly, I had a dream for myself, but I didn't know what to do with it.

At the end of the conference, he comes up to me and drops the bomb. He tells me that he's connected with a guy at the conference who works with acts in Branson and owns a studio. He says that he is going to sit down with me and put my demo reel together, and the cost is all on him. He sees it as an investment and is going to help me with my career. We go on talking about what he sees me doing and what my target demographic will be. He tells me it's going to be hard work, but has complete faith in me. I tell him that I'm not necessarily looking to be the next Amy Grant, but I want to have a career, and if I can get paid to do what I love, singing, then I'll do what it takes.

So, I'm excited. This guy is completely legit, and has incredible credentials. He's written and helped launch the careers of some big names. He knows the business and has incredible connections. He's not just some guy off the street who says he's in the business, but really just wants to take advantage of me. He's investing his own money in me, which says a lot. I may not be the next Amy Grant, Twila Paris, Whitney Houston, etc, but I want to see how far this can take me. If it just takes me to a demo reel, there will be a little disappointment because I've wanted this for awhile, but if it takes me the Dove Awards, BRING IT ON!!!!!!!!!!

Stay Tuned......

Article for the MOPS Newsletter

2010-01-16T07:53:00.001-08:00

I was asked to write an article for the MOPS newsletter that is distributed at the MOPS group that I attend bi-monthly. At first, I didn't know what I would write about, and then I got some inspiration based on what I've been dealing with lately. Here's the finished product:

One of the most difficult decisions for moms is if they should return to work after having a baby. I grappled with that same question when I had my daughter three and a half years ago. I had always told myself that I would be a working mom. I’m not the stay-at-home type that likes to spend hours on end wiping snotty noses, changing poopy diapers, or sit on the floor playing with Winnie-the-Pooh figures. I’m a go-getter, and like to be involved in something that challenges me. Now, don’t get me wrong, motherhood is an extreme challenge, but it’s not the challenge I am constantly seeking. Yet, here I was sitting at home, doing the exact thing I had told myself for years that I wouldn’t do. Why was I doing it? Honestly, I was doing it a little out of necessity and a little out of guilt. I knew that my new baby needed me, her mommy. I also knew that if I went back to work, I would sit in my office feeling guilty that someone else was “raising” my child. I had been listening to too much Dr. Laura, and had heard her say so many times that women need to be their child’s mom, and that’s it. Yet, I was dissatisfied. Of course it was satisfying to see my daughter take her first steps and hear her first words, but the monotony of the day-to-day drove me nuts. How could I do this for 5, 10, maybe 12 years, depending on how many children my husband and I had? That’s when I decided that I needed to switch it up. When my husband and I moved here almost a year ago, I decided it was time to go back to work, at least part time. I knew my daughter, who is now three and a half, would be fine in preschool. It got her interacting with people other than me for eight hours a day, seven days a week. She needed it, and I needed. I wasn’t going to let Dr. Laura or other moms dictate how I was going to feel about this decision. Now that my daughter is three, we are trying to decide when to have another child, and I find myself in a similar situation. If I have another child, I will have to stop working, and for a little while, give up my desire to have a career. It’s a terribly hard decision, and frankly, I don’t know if I’m willing to go back to that yet, but I do know this, no matter what we decide, working or not working, my child will grow up to be wonderful human being who contributes greatly to society. He or she is not going to grow up scarred because his/her mom didn’t stay home with them as a child. Many of us grew up with working moms, and we turned out fine. So here’s to you working mom, stop feeling guilty!!!

The Tip Conundrum

2009-11-24T09:51:00.000-08:00

I'm merely minutes away from getting my hair done, and trust me, it desperately needs it. It's been almost four months since I've had it cut and colored, and right about now, I'm feeling like an overgrown dog. Sitting here thinking about the gloriousness of sitting in that chair completely relaxed has got me thinking about what I'm going to tip my hair stylist. That got me thinking about this whole tipping thing. It's not the first time I've thought about it, but it's the first time I've blogged about it.

I hate tipping. It's not so much the fact of giving someone something extra that I think they deserve. It's the obligation to tip. Let me say this, I don't mind tipping servers at a restaurant because I go to a restaurant and pay for the food. I don't necessarily pay for the service. Therefore, I think a tip is warranted. If the server did I good job, I have no problem giving them a tip. I was a server once, and I made $2.13 an hour. I relied on tips to pay the bills. I don't think though, that the patron should be responsible for almost completely compensating the server's pay. That should be the job of the establishment.

Then there's the obligatory tip for people like a masseuse, a door man, a bell hop, a nail artist, and said hair stylist. My feelings are that I'm already paying for the service. I'm paying to have a massage. I'm paying to stay at that hotel. I'm paying to get my nails done. I'm paying to have my hair cut. Why should I tip when I'm already paying for the service. Don't get me wrong, I tip these people, and I feel like I tip them fairly. However, I feel that I'm obligated to tip even though I'm already shelling out sometimes hundreds of dollars to have this service provided to me. I don't understand how our society has gotten out of control about who we should tip. There's even a tip jar on the counter of our favorite coffee shops.

I'll keep tipping, even if it is a little begrudgingly. Maybe I should change my outlook on it and be a cheerful giver. Isn't that what God has asked us to do? It says in His word that "God loves a cheerful giver". I guess then I should look at my heart and change my attitude on it.

"Lord, help me to be a cheerful giver today when I tag on that extra dollar amount to my hair cut." Amen.

Haven't Blogged in Awhile

2009-11-17T16:41:00.001-08:00

I decided to visit my blog today and noticed that I haven't blogged since April. What is wrong with me? I guess I haven't had much to blog about, but I'm going to try and be more diligent about it.

Let me start by saying that the holidays are here, and I'm eagerly anticipating them. We are staying in Springfield for Thanksgiving, but heading to Seattle for Christmas. What is it about the holidays that puts a smile on most people's faces. For me, it's this:

-Eating until you have to unbutton your pants

-Having leftover turkey for weeks after the big event

-Listening to Bing Crosby sing "White Christmas"

-Watching "White Christmas"

-Watching "A Christmas Story" over and over again on TNT

-Watching "Christmas Vacation" (am I seeing a trend here)

-Putting up the Christmas decorations

-Scoping out the shopping deals

-Getting up at 5 am on Black Friday and braving the crowds

-Putting up the Christmas tree and having Alyza help

-Traveling to Seattle to spend time with family

-Being with family on Thanksgiving

-People being in great moods because of the holidays

-Seeing Alyza's face when she opens her gifts

-Drinking Tea Tang

-Smelling cookies baking in the oven

-Eating cookies right from the oven

-Pumpkin Spice Lattes

-Having to bundle up to go outside

-The many Christmas parties and programs

-Celebrating the birth of my Savior, Jesus

I could keep going and going. What do you like about the holidays?

Another Name Change

2009-04-20T07:28:00.000-07:00

As I've been reading some of my standard blogs today, I have found that, yet again, I need to change the name of my blog. At first, it was alysononehotmamma.blogspot.com. I chose that name because that's where I was in life. I had just had a baby and I was defining myself. It was a hard time in my life because we had just moved from Florida where my husband was in youth ministry and I was a middle school teacher. I loved my students and the friends we had there, and we moved to a place where I was no longer doing what I loved. Don't get me wrong; I loved youth ministry at the time, but it wasn't my job. It was Ryan's. I was just a mom. I know that some would say "You aren't JUST a mom!", but at the time, that's what I felt like.

Then I changed my url to notyourtypicalpastorswife.blogspot.com. As a pastor's wife, I felt that I was called to be exactly that- "not your typical pastors wife". I know that may sound stupid, but I wanted to break the mold. I wanted people to know me by who I was, Alyson, not by what "title", if you will, that I held. I wanted to be different, not for the sake of being different, but to make a change in people's lives. I wanted them to see Alyson before they saw that I was a pastor's wife.

Well, now my husband and I aren't in church ministry so I'm no longer a pastor's wife. Therefore, the change to my url became necessary. I'm in a place right now that I have had to redefine who I am, in a way. We aren't pastors anymore. We get to enjoy church as congregants. We don't have to be at every function. We have our weekends and nights free to do what we want. It's a different feeling, and it's refreshing. Our ministry is something totally different now, and it's very exciting. Yet, during this transition, I've found myself struggling a little with what my role is right now. I'm no longer a worship leader or pastor's wife. I'm a mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend, and co-worker. It's a very strange place to be in, but I'm finding that I'm relying on God to truly tell me who I am in Him. I'm Alyson-His daughter that He created for His glory. Thus, the new url name change. Yes, it's simple and doesn't have a lot of spunk to it, but it's who I am. I am Alyson Moore, and very happy to be that.

It's Different

2009-03-28T15:51:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged in awhile due to our recent relocation. I've also felt so out of the blogging loop since we got our new Mac. All of my favorite blogs were bookmarked on our old computer, so I've been a little lost. I'm back now, however, and ready to blog. Let me start by saying, for those of you who are wondering, our move went well. We are at Ryan's parents waiting to close on our house. It's a foreclosure home, so the word is that it will take a little longer. That's fine with us, I guess, but I am a little anxious to get in there and start my life. Right now, I feel a little disjointed. Ryan started his job last week, and I've been doing whatever I can to fill my time. In Portland, I had many activities to fill my week-playgroups, Bible studies, coffee dates with friends. Here, I have nothing. Ryan keeps telling me to give it time. We've only been here a week and a half, so I guess I should listen to that advice. He can be right sometimes. :) It's just been hard for me to go from a packed schedule to a schedule that is one big hole. I've been continually looking for jobs. I have my resume at at least ten different places, so if you remember, please pray that the perfect job will come with the hours that I need. I'm desperate to be around other people. I've also been researching preschools. I think I've found the perfect one for Alyza, but I have to get her back on the potty regularly and I need a job in order to pay for it. Just writing this makes me think, "man, life sure has changed".

I'm lonely at times, but I know that this is a season. There are so many exciting things going on that I need to focus on. I'm excited about finding a new church and getting to be congregant again. I've forgotten what that feels like. I'm excited to get involved in a new worship ministry. Frankly, I overly excited to get involved in a new worship ministry. That is my passion and calling and something that I cannot abandon.

I'm excited about the new opportunities that Ryan is going to have at this new job. There are so many connections, and we've already been in contact with people we haven't seen for years. God has some great things planned. Now, it's just a waiting game.

I'm excited about the new house. It's 4 beds, 2 baths, and 1800 sq. feet. It has a great backyard for a swing set and entertaining. I can't wait to have friends over for games and barbeques.

In the meantime, I need to realize that this season of being disjointed is exactly that-a season! This too shall pass but for now, I'm going to be researching all of the wonderful things Spgfld has to offer us.

We Are Moving! (Didn't I just post something like this?)

2009-02-25T23:07:00.000-08:00

Yes, the title you read is correct...We are moving...Yet again. Ryan has accepted a position in Springfield, Missouri as the Young Adult Ministries Coordinator for the Assemblies of God. It's an incredible position on the national level, and we are stoked for it. Our last Sunday will be March 8th, and then we are off. It's crazy how it's all come up so quickly, but we know that God is guiding us and has given us this great opportunity. It will be different not being in "church" ministry, yet we will be ministering on a national level to people all over the US, which is incredible. Please keep us in your prayers as we make this move and start this new area of ministry.

My Vice

2009-02-03T14:15:00.000-08:00

Today, I came to a conclusion. I am addicted to Diet Coke. I finally realized this when I was downing my third can last night. At that rate, I'm going through a 12 pack every 4 days. It's madness, I tell you. I crave the taste, the bubbly carbonation, and the refreshing coldness. The problem is, I have no desire to give it up. I probably should since I am trying to lose weight. My justification is that it is diet and not regular, so I'm doing ok, and I probably am. However, I should be drinking water. The only time I can drink lots of waters is when I'm at a restaurant and I have lemons, and the server keeps refilling my glass. I have no problem getting my water requirements in then. But if I'm at home and I have the choice between water and diet coke, I reach for the diet coke. Especially if it's Diet Coke with lime. Nothing beats it. Absolutely nothing. On the brighter side, my 4th weigh in is tomorrow, and I'm on track to be down 10 lbs in one month. I hope to keep this rate up. By the summer, I'm going to be a whole new person, and that keeps me motivated. ;)

She's Fat???

2009-01-29T08:18:00.000-08:00

Unless you've been living under a rock, you've probably heard the media having a hay day because of Jessica Simpson. It's seems that she has gained a little weight, and the media is on her like white on rice. It's a shame. Let me first say this-she's maybe gained a few lbs, but the biggest problem is the outfit. The mom jeans that she is wearing are not flattering, even on the thinnest of people. The color is horrid as well. That color of jean would make anyone look bigger than they really are. I actually think the belt works. I've watched "What Not to Wear" many times, and Stacey and Clinton are always saying that belts help define a waist. It works here, however, the tank top is a little off. Jessica has a chest, and it seems to me that this tank top makes them look bigger. Maybe it's the size of the straps. I don't know. I do know that she still looks great.

I have other issues with the whole media blitz that is surrounding this. WHO CARES??? I mean, really? Who cares if she's gained a few pounds. She's in love, at least that's what it seems like, and who hasn't gained a few pounds when you find the person you want to be with. Jessica is still a beautiful woman. This is the exact reason why I hate the media. They are saying she's TIPPING the scales at 135. TIPPING the scales, people. If she's tipping the scales, then most of us have crushed them. I wish I could be 135 again. The only time I was ever that skinny was when I had an eating disorder in high school. Literally! The media needs to back off. This is why we have girls and women all over America and the world that have body issues. It disgusts me. It amazes me that we've been saying this for years, yet magazines, media, etc., haven't changed their tune.

I do find it humorous that Victoria's Secret has changed their mannequins in stores to look a little "fuller". Is that what you call "fuller"? I want to see a mannequin with stretch marks, saggy boobs, thunder thighs, and a mom pooch. Once they do that, then they can say that they've altered their mannequins. Until then, they shouldn't say anything. Nothing has changed.

As far as the whole Jessica thing is concerned, I think she still looks great. Everyone needs to leave her only. When this happens, I believe we'll have more girls and women that feel better about themselves.

God's Grace

2009-01-19T18:50:00.000-08:00

All of us mess up. Yes, I know, even those of us who are placed on high pedestals end up falling off at some point. I think that many of us give grace to others when they mess up, but find it hard to use that same grace on our blunders. I'm finding myself in that category this week. I haven't done anything horrific, but I have had to take a step back and tell myself that His grace is sufficient for me. Christ sees past my faults and stumbles and sees my heart. He sees me as His child. Just like a parent looks at their own children, so Christ looks at us, and loves us unconditionally. Thank you, Lord, for that. Now, I have to extend grace in the same way Christ has extended grace to me. This is maybe just as hard, as I can become quite unnerved when I am wronged in some way. I want to hold a grudge and dwell on the hurt that has been caused, yet the anger will only eat away at me. I've learned that in the past few years, and now I'm finding myself having to learn to forgive and give grace where it is needed. This is my prayer today:
Lord, you know my heart. Thank you for your grace that is more than enough for me. Help me to feel that today, and in the same way, help me to extend grace to those who have wronged me. Help me to see them through Your eyes.
Amen

A New Year, A New Me

2009-01-06T08:39:00.001-08:00

I hate New Year's resolutions. The one reason I hate them is probably because I always break them. This year I didn't make any resolutions, however, I did decide that this year I was going to do what I've wanted to do for awhile, and that is to get healthier. Tomorrow, I'm stepping out in this by joining Weight Watchers. I've been upset about my weight for awhile now, and have been a yo-yo dieter for years. It's naturally in me to be heavier, and I really have to work at being thinner. Not only is it in my genes, but I also like food. Let's face it-Who doesn't? With the food that I love and the snail paced metabolism that I have, I've put on weight that I need to take off. So starts my journey. We purchased a treadmill on Craigslist last night so that both Ryan and I can get healthier. Now, please listen. I'm not trying to become a string bean who only eats carrots and runs 5 miles a day. I'm always going to love a good piece of chocolate cake, but I'm needing to learn to eat in moderation. I also need to become more active, hence the purchase of the treadmill. It's set up upstairs in front of one of our tvs so that I can watch my favorite shows and take a nice long walk. By the end of the year, my goal is to be able to run a mile without stopping, which is something I have NEVER in my life been able to do.
So, I've just put myself out there for the whole world to see. It's an accoutability thing. Now that I've "vocalized" it, it makes me want to prove to myself even more that I can do it. Here goes a new year with a new me in sight.

Icky??

2009-01-05T15:58:00.001-08:00

What does it mean when your 2 1/2 year old daughter sees you getting in the shower and tells you that your tummy is icky? Well, it wouldn't look like this if it wasn't for you, and maybe all of the holiday goodies. :) Weight Watchers starts this week, and thanks to my daughter, I'm motivated.

Oh, the Weather Outside if Frightful!

2008-12-20T13:25:00.000-08:00

Today is day seven of a crazy snow storm that is blowing through the Pacific Northwest. (Wow. I'm starting to sound like a weather man) In the years that I have lived here in Portland, and having spent my teenage years in the Seattle area, I've never seen it snow like this before. It started last Sunday morning, and has continued, on and off, for the past week. Today is supposed to be the worst. We are expected to get over 6" today, which will be on top of the already 3-4" some of us already had. Not only that, we are then going to get frozen rain, which turns to ice as soon as it hits the roads.

Now, I know some are chuckling to themselves because they are used to feet and feet of snow. You have to realize, we Northwesterners are not used to tons and tons of snow. Yeah, we get a few inches every year or so, but never this much, and not continually throughout the week. This weather is just bizarre, and frankly, I'm tired of it. It's pretty to look at and enjoy for a few days, but after that, and especially this time, it's getting a little old. Not only that, but it is now interfering with people's holiday plans.

My mom and step-dad were going to come down from Seattle for a few days, but now, they aren't sure because of the road conditions. Even Amtrack(the train) is booked from Portland to Seattle, and vice versa. Noone is driving anywhere.

The above pictures are just a little indication of how much snow we are getting here, and they say that the heavy snow will begin in a few hours. Until then, I'm just praying that I'll get to spend some time with family this Christmas. By the 25th, sitting in the house and staring at each other will get really old.

On a better note, Alyza loves the snow, and is constantly wanting to be outside. If the wind chill wasn't in single digits, we just might let her.

I'm Just Existing Today!

2008-12-16T09:42:00.000-08:00

Do you ever have those days when you feel like you are just existing? I'm having that kind of day today. You'd think with the wonderful white snow outside, and my husband being home because of it, that I would feel giddy. Like a little child before Christmas, but today is not one of those days. It's a "I'm just existing" type of day. The mood in our house is somewhat tense due to some unforseen circumstances that have happened over the last couple of days, and honestly, I'm pretty perturbed about them. We've started to question ourselves, our decisions, things in ou life. What happens now? Did we miss it, God? Did we not hear from You? Where do we go from here? So many questions, with so little answers.
I'm a gotta have it now type of person. I want to know what the plan is and how I am going to get from A to B. Unfortunately, God doesn't usually work that way. He wants me to trust Him, but I have a hard time with that. Here goes the transparancy-I have a hard time trusting God!! There! I said it. Yes, me, a pastor's wife, has a hard time trusting God. It's probably one of my biggest weaknesses in my relationship with Him. I've always been able to depend on myself or my husband for everything, but not this time. I truly have to trust Him. I'm confused. Scared. Hurt. Ticked. Desperate. Overwhelmed. It just doesn't make sense, but I know God is here. I just have to rely on Him for answers, but God, I need answers NOW! I need to know. My heart is heavy. As I say this, I'm guiding to these verses in Scriptures:
Ps. 55:22-"Cast your burden upon the Lord, for He cares for you. He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved."
Matt. 11:30-"My yoke is easy and My burden is light."
The Word is always true, even when things are out of sorts. I believe His Word. I believe that His promises are true. He's remained faithful to me. I am His child, whom He loves. I cling to these Scriptures today as I just exist.

I Broke My Toe...Again

2008-12-10T08:03:00.000-08:00

About 9 months ago, I was walking through our living room and hit my little toe on my left foot on the leg of our couch. I immediately knew it was broken. A stubbed toe had never felt like this before, plus my poor toe was turning black and blue. After an x-ray at the doctor's, it was confirmed that, indeed, it was broken. I had to wear an ugly blue shoe thing for about 2 months until it healed.

Last night, as I was walking through a doorway in our house, I hit the exact same toe on the door jam, and immediately, I knew it was broken. It was different this time, because it hurt so much more than the first time. I actually started to feel like I was going to pass out, my head started throbbing, and I started to shake uncontrollably. I knew that I was going into shock because this has happened to me twice before.

So, I'm going to the doctor's this morning to get the inevitable news that, yes, my toe is broken. Right now, I'm trying to stay off of it, which is turning out to be quite difficult with a two year old. Oh well. I guess my life can't stop because I'm a klutz.

PS-The picture above doesn't do my toe justice, and I'm embarrassed because I desperately need a pedicure. I guess I won't be getting one for awhile.

My New URL

2008-12-09T20:17:00.001-08:00

I've heard this several times before, "You aren't a typical pastor's wife." Is that good? Is that bad? Does that mean that I don't follow the unsaid standards of what a pastors wife should look like? At first, I didn't know what to think about that, but now, I embrace this exact sentiment. I'm not your typical pastors wife. I'm an outspoken, wear my heart on my sleeve, tell it like it is, what you see is what you get, type of person, and frankly, I'm darn proud of that. Some people don't know how to take me at first, and *gasp* I wear jeans to lead worship on Sunday mornings. I'm not always the sunshine, rainbows, teddy bear type of pastor's wife that most people would expect. If you are being an idiot-I'll tell you. If you are crossing a line with me-I'll tell you. If I'm struggling with something personally-I'll tell you. I won't bottle it up inside until it eats me away because I can't tell anyone what's going on in my life because people might not see me as the spritual leader that I'm supposed to be.

It kills me that there are pastors wives around this country that are struggling with depression because they can't be who they are and can't have any friends. I was actually told by a pastor's wife once that I couldn't have friends in the church. Wow! What a statement. Where was I supposed to find friends? How was I supposed to connect? How was I supposed to express my inner feelings? Was I supposed to keep them inside until I exploded on the poor lady who just wanted to know when choir practice was?

I'm so lucky to be at a place that I can be myself. I give credit to my pastor and his wife who don't stifle who I am. I have friends here that I can share my struggles with. Do I share the inner workings of the church? Of course not, but I do share the inner workings of my heart. The part of me that makes me who I am.

On to why I changed my URL. As I was sharing with a friend today, I feel that a purpose of mine is to encourage pastors wives to be themselves. It's a tragedy that so many of us are living in a state of anguish because we can't be who God truly has designed us to be. We feel that people place so many expectations of us, some of them completely unreasonable, that we end up stifling who we really are to comply with these expectations. NO MORE is what I say!! No more smiling even though things may be crumbling around us. No more crying alone because of the things that a board member has said about our husbands or ministry. No more stretching ourselves so thin because we are expected to be at every function that is held. No more holding our children back from who they really can be because it might offend someone. Enough is enough!! Let us be who we are, and I'll tell you what, you'll see a lot more healthy churches and healthy pastors wifes. :)

It's Too Bad

2008-12-09T19:35:00.000-08:00

At the end of August 1998, I made the best decision of my life. I moved to Springfield, Missouri to go to Central Bible College. I knew two people. One was a guy who was going to be a senior, another was an ex-boyfriend who was going to be a junior. I knew I wouldn't hang in the same social circles as these two older guys, but I didn't care. Yes, I was scared. My best friend had told me 12 days earlier that she wouldn't be going with me. Honestly, I thought about staying behind. What was I going to do without her? She was the one person I knew that I could rely on there. Regardless, I got on that plane, by myself for the first time, and embarked on the best journey that I had been on up to that point.
I arrived in Springfield and thought that I had landed in the middle of nowhere. Little did I know that the airport was in exactly that spot-the middle of nowhere. I questioned my decision. I cried, especially when I arrived at my dorm a day earlier than most of the other students. I had nothing but the clothes in my suitcase. Everything else had been shipped and hadn't arrived yet. That night, I slept on a sleeping bag that an RA loaned me for the night. I luckily had my pillow that I had brought on the plane with me. Ultimately though, I was alone. I called my parents and cried again. I told them that I was scared and wish that they had been there with me. It was the first time in my life that I had ventured out on my own. I've always been independent, but this was really stretching that part of me. That night, alone, lying on that green sleeping bag, I cried myself to sleep. That morning, when I woke up, I had no idea that it was the beginning of one of the most incredible journeys that I have been through.
Moving away was the best decision I ever made. I couldn't drive home every weekend if I wanted to. The only contact I had was via phone, since email was just beginning. It was hard, but well worth it. I met the man of my dreams at college, away from everything I knew that was comfortable. I met friends that will remain close as long as we live. I had doors of opportunity open for me that wouldn't have been otherwise.

I write all of this to say that it hurts when I hear the kids are leaving college to come home. At times, I feel that the parents are being selfish. "I need you here. We miss you. Please come home. " I've heard it all from students. Sometimes it's the student that is too homesick to stay in a place that is stretching them beyond anyway that they have ever been stretched. It's uncomfortable. It hurts. It can be lonely, at times, but, and that's a big but, it's sooo worth it!!

When students talk to me about college, I will most likely always tell them to GO AWAY TO COLLEGE!! Even if that means living on campus, 20 minutes from your parents. It's one of the best decisions you will ever make. You learn who you are, what you are capable of, and you learn a sense of independence that nothing else can bring. You learn to rely on God and not your parents, your good friends, or your own self. You learn to be independent of all that you have relied on for the past 18 years.

I sit here today, being the person that I am because of my college experience. Thank you Mom and Dad for not letting me give up. For encouraging me to stay, even when I was scared, emotionally distraught, or just plain homesick. Thank you, Lord, for letting me see the ultimate plan that you had for me regardless of my present circumstances. I am who I am because of these things.

Christmas Shopping

2008-12-07T15:10:00.000-08:00

I know this may sound weird, but...I love Christmas shopping. Frankly, I just love shopping, but Christmas time gives me an excuse to perfect my craft that I love so much. I'm a bargain shopper, so Black Friday is like Mecca to me. What better day to find a pair of $80 jeans for 15 bucks. Were those a Christmas present for someone? Nope! They were for me, but I couldn't resist. However, with 18 days left until Christmas Day, I have to say that I'm almost done with my shopping. I still have a few things to get for Ryan, but this year seems so much different than years past. I don't know if it's the impending economic crisis that is constantly looming over our heads, or just the fact that we don't need useless gifts this year. I guess we never need useless gifts, but there's something about this year that makes this ring even truer. We aren't buying for everyone this year, like year's past. We are scaling back, but not because of finances, per say, even though it helps in that area. We are cutting back because it's not about the gifts. It's about being together, however cliche that sounds. Now, don't get me wrong. We are still giving gifts to each, but they will be fewer and hold more meaning. When I came back from shopping Friday night, I looked at all the stuff that I had bought Alyza and thought, "This child needs none of this." Am I going to return stuff. No, but I want my child to grow up knowing what Christmas is truly about. It's not about what gifts we can get or even give. It's about being together and celebrating the birth of our Savior, Jesus. Born as a baby, in a lowly stable. He didn't come as a king, like he deserved. He came as something we can all relate to-a child. As the Christmas countdown continues, let's remember to stop and truly give thanks to God for giving up His Son for us. A sacrificial gift that none of us can ever match. A gift you can't buy at Macy's or even Target. A FREE gift. Thank you, Jesus!!

IPhone Craze

2008-11-27T09:38:00.000-08:00

Has anyone noticed how many people have iphones now? It's crazy!! What amazes me even more are how many teenagers have them. I mean, who's paying for these phones and then the plans that come attached to them? Most likely, it's their parents. One of our students got one the other day and I asked him who was paying for it and who was paying for the plan that you have to have with it. He said, "I don't know. My dad?" Uh, yeah, it is your dad because you are only 15 and you don't have a job that will pay for that phone. To me, that is insane, and frankly, the phone is simply a status symbol. Ryan and I went to the movies and we sat by a bunch of teenagers. No joke, almost every single one of them had an iphone. Granted, we were in a nice area, but come on folks. What are these parents thinking? I really just don't get it. Hey, if you are an adult and want an iphone and can afford all of the hubbaloo that goes along with it. By all means, buy one, but these kids who have them just gets me. What ever happened to the phone that was simply that-a phone!! I asked my husband if he wanted an iphone for Christmas because frankly, he needs something to keep his schedule together. As much as I love him, he just can't remember appointments. When I asked him, he said that he only needed a phone that called people. That makes sense. How many people need to be able to read their email, check their facebook, text message, check their stocks, take a picture, call a friend, see where the closest chinese restaurant is, play a game of golf, and listen to their favorite song all on one phone? Not very many of us, and especially not a 15 year old. :)

More Decorating

2008-11-25T14:30:00.000-08:00

I decorated inside our house last night. We are saving the tree for after Thanksgiving, but I decided to do some of the interior stuff last night. I think it turned out pretty good.

Christmas Decorating

2008-11-19T08:34:00.000-08:00

Since moving into our new neighborhood, I've began to notice that these people don't live like we do. They drive Mercedes, Lexus, and BMW's. We drive a '03 Focus and a '99 Explorer with a severely cracked windshield. Many of our new neighbors have a lawn service come and do their lawns for them. My husband, the great guy that he is, gets out there and mows and weeds with his own two hands. Our neighbors also have men come and put up their Christmas lights. I've never experienced this before. Honestly, I think it's cool to have someone come and hang your Christmas lights for you. If we could afford it, we would do it too. However, Christmas Light Guys aren't in our budget, so this weekend my husband and his cousin, Trevor started hanging our lights. At first I thought that it was too early. After all, it isn't even Thanksgiving week yet. Then I remembered that we live in Oregon, and you have to take advantage of sunny weekends whenever they come around. So, that's exactly what they did.

I had a way that I wanted the lights strung onto the house. I wanted the two peaks that face the street to have lights on them, plus the general lights around the house thing. When my husband told me to come and look at it, I noticed that the peaks weren't done. He stated that they were too high and that when they tried to stand on the roof, it was too slippery and dangerous. I was bummed. I want our house to look awesome even if we don't use the Christmas Light Guys(that's their business name by the way). I reluctantly went along with the alternative plan of just stringing lights around the house, without the peaks, and stringing lights on the patio and colums. Of course we can't forget the 8-foot santa that my sister and I bought at Walmart a few years back, but he will come out after Thanksgiving. It is only November, of course.

Side Note-A local radio station has been playing Christmas music, and it just makes me smile. However, I can't listen to it in the car with Ryan. He is boycotting Christmas music until after Thanksgiving. He doesn't think it's right. I am loving it, though!!

Anonymous Comments

2008-11-12T16:11:00.000-08:00

I had an anonymous comment the other day from someone. I find it humorous that the comments of these anonymous people are usually negative. You never see someone leave a nice comment and then sign it anonymously. It's like hate mail that pastor's get. My husband has had some in the years that we have been in ministry. If he sees that it is anonymous, he immediately shreds it. If the person can't say who they are are and be bold in what they are saying, then they shouldn't say it. Therefore, if you are going to leave an anonymous comment-Don't!!! I will delete them. Own up to what you are saying and have some guts. I'm open to criticism. Someone criticized my last blog and put their name to it. I respect that. I don't respect anonymous comments, and I won't allow them to stay on my blog.

Here I Go Again

2008-11-06T16:37:00.000-08:00

I just find it humorous how Christians are. I've read so many posts about the election the past two days, that I just have to chuckle. Of course you have those that still can't get over the fact that Obama won the presidency. Then I've seen those that have to make everything spiritual. They throw in the verses that talk about respecting the leaders over you, and that God ordains every king, etc. I find myself somewhere in the middle. Now, I know some of you are like "Yeah right, Alyson. You're in the first half", but I have to say that I do, honestly, find myself in the middle. I'm ticked my candidate didn't win. I can be ticked and passionate about what I truly, wholeheartedly believe in. However, I do believe the scriptures that state that you are to honor your leadership. Just because I believe and hold onto those scriptures, doesn't mean that it is disheartening that my candidate didn't win. Give us that are truly upset some time to get over this. It hasn't even been 42 hours since the announcement was made. It's still fresh, and it might take us some time. Have some grace. Use the scripture that you love so dearly, and apply it to others when it comes to the grace part. It's ok for Christians to be upset. It's ok for us to express that. It's ok to say on facebook that you are disgusted with the Obama Kool-Aid drinkers (this is in reference to the Jim Jones cult in the 80's not a racial slur, I might add. And to the person who derogatorily noted me in another blog, please quote me correctly). I believe some people were deceived, but you know what, I'm getting over it. I'm gonna move on, but give me a little time. The wound is still fresh. I will support our president in prayer. I will honor him due to the position that he holds. For cryin-out-loud, I certaintly don't want the job. I still believe this is the best country on the planet. I love America, and I wouldn't want to live anywhere else.

I'm Livid, but What Else is New :)

2008-11-04T19:53:00.000-08:00

It looks like the election might be over. I hate to even write this, but...it looks like Obama won. Honestly, it makes my stomach turn when I hear that. However, that's not why I'm writing tonight. I'm writing because I've had it up to my eyebrows with "butterfly, jelly bean, and rainbow" Christians. I got a facebook message tonight from a Christian who chastised me for saying this in my status update-Alyson is thinking 'Stupid Ohio people!!". I wrote this after they announced that Obama won Ohio. This person didn't believe that I should have used the word stupid. As a Christian, he/she thought that I should be showing love to others even though they may believe different from me. Also, that Jesus didn't say to vote democrat or republican, but to love. He/She also stated that teens look up to me and basically that's not setting a good example. So, here goes my rant....
What the heck!! Are you seriously getting onto me for using the word "stupid" in my status update? Did my status update really make you so furious that you decided to write me a message to tell me that you thought that what I wrote was innappropriate? I didn't use profanity. I didn't call someone out by name and call them stupid. I made a general, tongue-in-cheek statement about voters in Ohio. That's it. That's all it was. Don't question my love for people because I wrote that. Don't tell me that I'm setting a bad example for teens. Frankly, I'm somewhat chuckling right now because it is just so ludicrous. If I ever do something that is immoral, compromises my faith, or shows a lack of integrity, then by all means, please call me on it.
Also, I'm never going to be a fake. Sometimes that's my downfall, but mostly it's my strength. You know how I feel most of the time. Frankly, I'm disgusted with this election, especially the coverage that I'm watching right now, and I'm going to express how I feel. That's who I am and I don't apologize for it.
I wish more Christians were real, and this is where I start on my "jelly bean, butterfly, rainbow" Christians. I had someone tell me the other day that it was refreshing for them to be around Christian women who were real and didn't put on airs. She hadn't been involved in much church activities because of the stuffiness of the women there, and frankly, I can understand that. We as Christian women are rarely real with each other or with others outside of our circles, and I believe it is because we think that as a Christian, people should be seeing someone who always has their act together. Let me tell you this, as a Christian, I rarely have my act together, but by the grace of God alone, he still loves me and uses me in ways that are unimaginable. My love for Christ and His people isn't lessened because of this. My faith and understanding of who God is isn't lessened. I'm just like everyone else-human. Yes, even a pastor's wife has issues, and a lot of them I might add. I'm not perfect. I'm running this race like everyone else, and I fall down sometimes, but let me say this, I will always be real. ALWAYS!!! Even if it means using the word "stupid" in my facebook status.

Only In Oregon...

2008-11-01T11:24:00.000-07:00

Only in Oregon will you find people printing off pictures of Obama and taping them to their car. You wouldn't see a McCain supporter doing that now would you?

I Love The Holidays!!!!

2008-11-01T10:24:00.000-07:00

This morning I drove down to our local grocery store in our new neighborhood to get a few things. With having just moved, I realized this morning that we didn't have any milk, cereal, or coffee creamer. All of these are musts when it comes to breakfast, especially the creamer. I wandered the aisles picking up things I hadn't planned on buying, until I came to the coffee creamers. I noticed that all of my favorite flavors were back on the shelves, flavors like peppermint mocha, gingerbread, pumpkin spice, etc. I started to feel giddy inside. Giddy over coffee creamer? It wasn't so much the coffee creamer as it was the realization that the holidays were almost here. I love the holidays, if you can't tell by my many exclamation points after my title. It's my favorite time of year. It's the colorful leaves adorning the trees. It's the crisp, cold air that hits your face when you step outside. It's being able to finally put on my sweaters that have collected dust for the past 4 months. It's looking forward to having family come for Thanksgiving and Christmas. It's being able to put up my fall and then Christmas decorations. It's cuddling up under a blanket and reading a good book or watching a good movie. It's using my favorite coffee creamer in a hot cup of joe. I love it! I absolutely love it!

Celebrity Endorsements

2008-10-26T22:31:00.000-07:00

I have recently become a huge fan of Coldplay. I don't know what it is about their music. It could be the lyrics, that frankly, I still have a hard time figuring out(what is Viva La Vida about anyway?). Maybe it's their tone that reminds me of the setting in Les Miserables? I don't know what it is, but I love their music. They were on Saturday Night Live last night. I was pleasantly suprised that they got to perform three songs. This was quite unusual, but well received by myself, until the unfortunate happened. At the end of the last song, Chris Martin, the lead singer, shouted out "Barack Obama!." What the heck? First of all, you aren't even American. You are British, so frankly you have no say. How dare you use your celebrity status to endorse a candidate when you aren't even American. It really ticked me off, thus the writing of this blog. Frankly, I'm tired of celebrities using their status to endorse a certain candidate. It ticks me off because there are ignorant people out there who will vote based on what people like Matt Damon, Chris Martin, Barbra Streisand, and especially Oprah have to say. They won't educate themselves about the issues and what each candidate stands for. They will vote with their favorite celebrity. "Well if Oprah likes Obama then he must be the right person for the job", is probably what many people said when she came out in a huge way and endorsed Obama. Would I feel differently if they were endorsing my candidate, John McCain? Probably. I guess I just wish that some celebs that do endorse McCain would step out of the shadows and make their presence known like the rest of these celebs. Why don't they? The rumor is they will be black balled in Hollywood. Is that true? I don't know, but I wouldn't doubt it with the Hollywood being so liberal. Celebs for McCain, if you are reading this(lol), take a chance and stand up for something that is right!! It's about time we hear about the celebs that are on the right side of the aisle.

Mail In Ballots

2008-10-23T20:23:00.000-07:00

I just got done filling out my ballot for the election this year. You see, here in Oregon, you vote by mail-in ballot. They mail you your ballot and you fill it in, put it into two envelopes, sign it with your name, and mail it in. There are no voting booths, hanging chads, or "I Voted" stickers, and frankly, I feel ripped off. Thre is none of that here. I love the feeling of walking into the booth and doing your American duty by voting. I love getting my "I Voted" sticker and walking around all day showing off my American pride. I love standing in line for over and hour just so that I can do the democratic thing. It was kind of a let down when I sealed the envelope tonight. Maybe I'll go upstairs and make my own "I Voted" sticker and wear it until this elections over. Hmmm....that's a thought.

BTW-GO MCCAIN/PALIN

NOBAMA!!!!!!!

Did That Really Just Happen?!?

2008-10-17T20:23:00.000-07:00

Today, my husband and I were on our way to pick up our new furniture for the living room of our new house. Actually, the furniture isn't new, but it is new to us thanks to Craigslist. If you haven't discovered Craigslist yet, you must do so. Anywho, we were driving on I-84, which is a pretty big interstate here in Portland. As we were driving, all of a sudden, the cars in front of us started to slam on their brakes. Of course, I then had to yell for Ryan to stop because I need to keep my backseat driving license. :) The cars kept slowing down and swerving. All of the cars in front of us seemed to be able to get around this "interference" in the road, until we came up on it. It wasn't just "interference", for lack of a better word. It was a live dog running along the highway. Several cars had stopped on both sides of the highway, both coming and going, plus the police were there trying to catch the dog. And here we are, driving right behind it as it runs along. We had nowhere to go, when all of a sudden, the dog stops right in front of our car, on
I-84 and decides to do his business right there. I'm not talking about #1 either. Nope, the dog pinched a loaf right there in front of our car on the highway!!! All the while, the police and several people are trying to catch the dog. I couldn't believe it. I was laughing so hard that I was crying. Finally we made our way around the dog, and were on our way. I was so mad at myself about 5 minutes later when I realized that I had the camera in my purse the whole time and I didn't get the picture. I'm still kicking myself. It's not everyday that you see a huge black dog on a main freeway, and then see it stop in front of your car to do it's business. Crazy!!! It still makes me chuckle when I think about it.

I Hate Moving!! I Love Moving!!!

2008-10-15T15:34:00.001-07:00

Right now, we are in the process of moving into a new house. God has provided this awesome, and I must say, amazing house on Bull Mountain. We have dedicated this house to the Lord as it will be used for many ministries that we work with including young adults and young marrieds. We are super excited, but in the midst of all the excitement, we have to load up all of our stuff and move it. That is what I hate. Today, I took everything off of the walls, spackled the holes, and painted over them. This was actually a very easy task since I bought tools that made it so. However, I look at the massive amounts of stuff that we have and I think, "Here we go again." I hate the whole process of moving all of our clothes, furniture, bathroom stuff, garage, and mostly the kitchen. It seems that the kitchen always takes forever. It's a pain, and can be very overwhelming.

On the other side, I love moving. Like I stated earlier, we are moving into a huge house that is perfect to help grow the new ministries that we are jumping into. It's really a dream come true. That is the fun part of moving. It's a fresh start in a new house. Everything's in order and has its place. It's helps me get organized again. Plus, it's always fun being in a new place. That's the part of moving that helps me get motivated about hauling stuff over there. It's just the whole moving thing that isn't very fun. :(

Today, I'm Tired

2008-10-07T14:04:00.000-07:00

Over the past several months, I've been filling my schedule with lots of activities. I like to be busy. It helps me not become bored with my life. Sometimes being a stay-at-home mom is really tough. Like days like today when all my 2 year old daughter can say is "I want" and if she doesn't get that want, she proceeds to throw herself into a huge dramatic fit of screaming, crying, and throwing herself on the ground. It's all part of the age. I understand that, but it doesn't mean that it isn't tiring. So, to keep us occupied, I try to fill our mornings with fun activities. Mondays I have a swap day with a friend. She takes my daughter for a few hours every other Monday, and vice versa. Tuesdays I have Bible study at the church. Wednesdays I have a playgroup at my house and then Crave, our youth ministry, at night. Thursdays I have a community playgroup. Friday is Ryan's day off so we spend that day as a family. Saturday nights, I usually lead worship, and Sundays I'm at church early and stay late due to my responsibilities with the worship ministry.

Now, please hear me when I say that I'm not complaining. I choose to do these activities, but lately I've noticed myself being very tired. I can barely pull myself out of bed even after 8-9 hours of sleep a night. I have a feeling that I need to go to the doctor. I shouldn't be this drained, or maybe I should, Today, though, it has really hit me. I barely have enough energy to deal with my daughter.

Do any of you mom's out there feel the same way, or am I the only one? We give so much of ourselves every minute of the day, that we rarely have time to rejuvenate. I definately need some rejuvenation today.

2008-10-01T13:57:00.000-07:00

It's me, everyone. Just me, myself, and I. That's what I've titled this blog. It's going to be all about me. Now, I know that sounds a little selfish and conceited, but I wanted a place where I could express myself. I've been blogging on myspace for quite some time now, but this is my new home. I hope you enjoy. So here goes my first blog on my new page.

Over the past few months, I can say that I've been a little discouraged. I wont go into detail, but ultimately it's been a time of God stretching me and showing me some things. For one, I believe God is really moving us into a new area of ministry for my husband and I.

We aren't forsaking youth, but God is really showing us that young adults and young families tend to get neglected in churches. We feel as though he is calling us to reach out to this demographic, hence the Mosaic House.

Over the years, I have seen people come and go from churches. It can be discouraging and frustrating. You start to think "what's wrong with me?", "how could I have kept them here?", but God gave me a revelation last night. I'm not into these super spiritual terms, but I believe that what I felt in my heart at a particular moment was from God. My spirit told me that He is moving people to other places so that a new work can be done. It was eye opening. I truly believe that God is taking us to a new place, but I never thought that it would mean that people would be leaving us. It meant that people needed to move somewhere else so that is work could be done and a new vision could be established. It helped me understand that sometimes God weeds things out because they won't work with the new. These things or people aren't bad, but they may not work with the vision that is about to begin.

This revelation, if you will, really encouraged me. I wholeheartedly believe that God is doing this. All I can do now is be his humble servant and walk where He wants me to walk.