Saturday, February 6, 2010
The Break
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Article for the MOPS Newsletter
One of the most difficult decisions for moms is if they should return to work after having a baby. I grappled with that same question when I had my daughter three and a half years ago. I had always told myself that I would be a working mom. I’m not the stay-at-home type that likes to spend hours on end wiping snotty noses, changing poopy diapers, or sit on the floor playing with Winnie-the-Pooh figures. I’m a go-getter, and like to be involved in something that challenges me. Now, don’t get me wrong, motherhood is an extreme challenge, but it’s not the challenge I am constantly seeking. Yet, here I was sitting at home, doing the exact thing I had told myself for years that I wouldn’t do. Why was I doing it? Honestly, I was doing it a little out of necessity and a little out of guilt. I knew that my new baby needed me, her mommy. I also knew that if I went back to work, I would sit in my office feeling guilty that someone else was “raising” my child. I had been listening to too much Dr. Laura, and had heard her say so many times that women need to be their child’s mom, and that’s it. Yet, I was dissatisfied. Of course it was satisfying to see my daughter take her first steps and hear her first words, but the monotony of the day-to-day drove me nuts. How could I do this for 5, 10, maybe 12 years, depending on how many children my husband and I had? That’s when I decided that I needed to switch it up. When my husband and I moved here almost a year ago, I decided it was time to go back to work, at least part time. I knew my daughter, who is now three and a half, would be fine in preschool. It got her interacting with people other than me for eight hours a day, seven days a week. She needed it, and I needed. I wasn’t going to let Dr. Laura or other moms dictate how I was going to feel about this decision. Now that my daughter is three, we are trying to decide when to have another child, and I find myself in a similar situation. If I have another child, I will have to stop working, and for a little while, give up my desire to have a career. It’s a terribly hard decision, and frankly, I don’t know if I’m willing to go back to that yet, but I do know this, no matter what we decide, working or not working, my child will grow up to be wonderful human being who contributes greatly to society. He or she is not going to grow up scarred because his/her mom didn’t stay home with them as a child. Many of us grew up with working moms, and we turned out fine. So here’s to you working mom, stop feeling guilty!!!